And you know what GB that's what made it SO hard for me when I had that realization that we could/should have saved things...because I felt cut off from anyone that might understand. Everyone was black and white except my sister and when I emailed her she said I am so proud of what you've just emailed me. It takes a mature person to look to reconsider a decision and say I may have been wrong. It comes down to keeping that road home paved clean or whatever.
You aren't a bad person!! You are a wonderful person! I bet your kids think you're the best thing since sliced bread! I know you're questioning everything about yourself and it's easy for your self esteem to feel non existent. My IC gave me a list of things I could do to feel good about myself and build SE. Some seemed silly "strike up a convo with a stranger" but it worked. I asked a market seller about her art when before I'd just kind of look and walk off before they could sell me anything. Stepping out your comfort will work wonders to make you feel better.
