*H closes the door behind him and sometimes parks on the street and not halfway in the driveway (as if he's running out soon).
*More of the same behavior- -emotional intimacy (we will talk about things unrelated to the kids, work, his family, his recovery!) -he initiates more family outings (almost every week) and if I initiate them he will sometimes agree to it -he answers all cell phone calls in front of me and will tell me who it is. Before he would text like crazy most of the time if someone called and he wouldn't say who it was or would leave the room to answer -he lingers more. HE said that he would like to spend time with S3 at home after work instead of at his moms.
>I have continued detaching (Al Anon helps a lot!) >Continued acting as if >Continued GAL, although it's not mysterious (he didn't respond well to mysterious) >He believes my 180s are permanent changes (this worries me because I've read that when they are convinced then they start to consider coming back. n he hasn't. he keeps talking about us being apart in the future) >I continue tapping into his LLs. Main one, acts of service. I know this sounds very old school, but I make him something when he's here. (breakfast and/or dinner) I can tell he really likes this!! (BTW I tried doing this when we were together but he would politely say no thank you. Now I do it even if he says no-n he'll eat it!)
I have to admit that although this situation can REALLY hurt your self esteem (and believe me it really hurt mine!) It has rebuilt it and it's stronger. I'm not completely myself but I'm getting there.
I have one YAY for me, I have longer periods where I'm not angry! And periods where I accept that this may be a permanent situation for us.
He's moving into his apt this month. This will be another downward spiral for me and I'm trying very hard to detach!
OHHH! BTW!! He gave me a hug for mother's day! Wooo Hoo! (My LL is Physical touch!)
M 42 H 39 T10 (-2yrs separation) S8 D5 DD 7/30/11 (EA&PA) Reconciled 6/2013 Separation in works 1/2017
