Today was rough I felt very emotional. More so then when he filed. But now that I am a little more calm I can see the reason I reacted so strongly to his email was again his attitude towards me. That I dont get it. We can have a nice pleasant D if I would just get on board. He wants to explain to me how nice he is going to be to me and how we can just work out our schedule based on his job and career. He wants me to continue to tell him what a nice guy he is. I am done with that. He walked on our family. I dont want to "co-parent" with him, I want to separate from him.
---- M 39 H 35 D5,D4 M 4 T 9 ILYBNILWY 5/18/11 Left 7/11/11 Divorced 12/1/13
((BM)) I have been following your thread since I joined. Last week when you got served I felt slapped in the face for you. I was actually telling my IC about it this morning, when that happened to you after all the sh&t you have put up with it actually really helped my detach for my WAH. I know my H hasn't filed yet, so I will get emotional again, but YOU have helped ME detach. It is a relief. I can see so clearly what a victim my H is being, and I know I don't want it anymore. If he does decide he wants to come back, he has to work for it. I don't want my kids to see me trying to "earn" his love anymore. Our H have very similar scripts, and they want to deny any responsibility. Once they are away from us, they will still be stuck with their unhappiness and resentment. I know this is hard for all of us, that we all have our ups and downs, but I want you to know that you are a strong woman and I respect you. Hoping your day gets better. Fighting
M 37, H 37 M 10, T 12 S 4 D 2 3/14/12 ILYBNILWY 4/2/12 H consults a L, files nothing 4/26/12 H moves to his new place
H, Just got back from D 2 yr check up. Height, weight, etc is normal, however the Dr. gave us a referral for a cardiologist because she heard a heart murmur. I will set up that appt. and keep you posted. Dr. said we shouldnt be very concerned.
His reply Awe little D2! Thanks for letting me know and for setting up next appt.
Is that a strange response?? Seriously his two year old is going to a cardiologist. I understand it prob. not serious but he doesnt call to say "what exactly did the dr. say?" "Can you give me more info..."
Am I making this up or is he nuts??
---- M 39 H 35 D5,D4 M 4 T 9 ILYBNILWY 5/18/11 Left 7/11/11 Divorced 12/1/13
don't allow him to lure you out of your good strong place - he's milking the sitch for all it's worth to get a reaction out of you. what i hear is that he is sh$t scared - keep that image in your mind - when you're having a hard time.
he's more scared than you are right now, so he's pulling out all the stops to justify to himself that what he is doing is the right thing.
remember that, when you're struggling and FEEL the stronger one because of it and because you are.
i'm so sorry that you have to deal with this on top of everything else bklyn - you'll make it through better than alright though in the end.
me 46 H 38 M10yrs T 11 S10 BD ow 8/11 h filed 9/25/12
"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"
Your H sounds like mine. They don't want to worry about their kids health so they look for the positive in it somewhere.
S3 (soon 2b 4) has MANY health issues. Whenever we got bad news H would break down inside but would look positive on the outside.
BTW: S3 had an atrial septal defect. Normally it heals on its own. Only if your cardio wants to work on it they will do so before they start kinder (so it doesn't disrupt their school schedule). It's very invasive surgery. HOWEVER, my son was the small percentage that needed emergency open heart because it didn't go well It was a very difficult time for H n I, but I think more for H. He spent the first few nights with him in the ICU. No bed but a hard chair. -I had a lot of faith in the doctors at childrens hospital.
M 42 H 39 T10 (-2yrs separation) S8 D5 DD 7/30/11 (EA&PA) Reconciled 6/2013 Separation in works 1/2017
It was a very difficult time for H n I, but I think more for H. He spent the first few nights with him in the ICU. No bed but a hard chair. -I had a lot of faith in the doctors at childrens hospital.