The thing is if I'm codependent on old friends and family, probably they are on me, and they aren't feeling things are right either if they are not coddling/nurturin/worrying. New friends and I just don't have that relationship.
I guess it's like you say, Seeking, that I have to do more actions to prove that I'm really changed a lot and still trying to go in a very different direction. I also like what you say about trusting myself; I bet I am leading people into coddling by having lack of trust in MYSELF and my decisions that I'm somehow expressing without realizing I'm expressing it.
I heard relationships that are co-dependent described as A-frame. Both lean on each other. If you 'straighten up' - i.e. become non-co-dependent, they have nothing to lean against from their side. So they do not like it. You no longer 'need' them in teh way you did, but they are trying to impose that need on you so you don't disturb the A-frame.
I am learning to do simple electricity jobs. My xh always used to do the non-professional electrical work around the house, and it is so liberating to be able to tackle them [and know what you can't!]. In a recent brief exchange I let him know I was doing this and the result is total silence!!
