Hi there, glad you posted. First of all if you lost 14 pounds last week you are not drinking any water at all and barely eating. That has to be your first priority. Not eating and drinking water will cause tremendous anxiety because of the hunger and then you do not feel hungry because of the anxiety. This is why you feel like a caged animal. Second, you sound clinically depressed and should consider seeing a clinical psycologist for depression. I saw a shrink for two years without meds to feel the feelings and then took meds for a while to wrap it up. You may choose that or a different path depending on your diagnosis.
I know something about this subject for sure. Not a psychologust by any means but I did have many years of therapy for depression and I lost a lot of weight very quickly when my x left me. It was horrible and I would not wish it on my worst enemy. I can tell you it is a journey that many have taken to one extent or another.
Do you have to work so much? Is it the only thing you can focus on? If so that's kind of good, an escape of sorts. But it seems to be exhausting you.
Keep this in mind. In times of great stress, many people, like animals, can have a tendency to go into hiding. This is not a bad thing. It can be a normal physiological reaction to events. Be very kind to yourself and try and get enough rest. Eat as much as you can. And do one thing to be nice to yourself, hot baths maybe. Also if you cannot run can you walk? What can you do outside? Can you swim at a gym? Sit in a park?
It will not get magically better but it is a journey worth taking. The payoff is compassion for others and a much better understanding that the fallow times in life can lead onward to nurture the future. You will be ok. It can be hard, the one other thing I can say is get out of the house and out of the work environment and do something completely different. Not easy when you are depressed, you have to plan, focus, execute according to the plan. Then write down your accomplishment and be proud of yourself. Unfortunately you cannot wait to feel like doing things. Like medicine you have to take it first to feel the benefits. A bad analogy and hard when you are depressed but all I can think of.
Since you like movies maybe try to go to one whether you feel like it or not. I mean at a theater. Drive there and go and then see. You don't have to stay!
Good luck and let us know how you are doing. Wonder
