First you showed huge growth and dedication to stick to that N/C for so long. There's no way I could have sat inside while he cut the grass.
I can empathize with a lot of what you said about who you became during your marriage. I would suggest making a list of who you were before (including the things that attracted him to you) and trying doing those things to make you feel better. Even if it's small like getting a weekly manicure!
No one here can say whether or not he will change his mind or the two of you will work things out .... or if that's what you even want.
Continue to take care of yourself. Oh and yes people say some horrible things. Also I get you on the wanting to have kids front. But I have a coworker who got pregnant when she wasn't even trying at 40! So just trust that things will happen in time. 4 years ago I met two wonderful girls. One had just ended a 7 year relationship and the other was heartbroken over her divorce. Today one is married and starting IVF, the other is pregnant and just bought a gorgeous house with her BF. They are amazingly happy and I remember when they thought they'd be living in a group home with cats! haha
