Grace (I can't call you NG anymore we both know why) Enjoy your SoCal sunshine. Have a wonder GAL day enjoying yourself. Big Hugs as always! I really like your analogy about trying not to change the tide. You're so right. All you have to do is still be that happy stable person on the shore. Sister I am right there with you about planning and solving. I'm putting that energy into other projects. I'm undertaking revamping my garden and doing some diy'ing. So all my planning and researching can be on projects not people!
Cadet thank you so much for pointing me towards that book. I did a search and found some exerts online and this really jumped out to me:
Quote:
Consequently you initiate conversations, ask questions as well as seek and offer advice. Stop. You are not his maid, physician, counselor or savior and right now I am sorry to tell you, but you are not his best friend--at least not regarding active friendship. You enable your MLCer to avoid facing his fears and feelings when you provide these services
I don't think he's an MLCer but this is the best argument I've seen so far to not bring up any convos about reconcile or the marriage.
