I have moments where I really wish I could tell H everything that I've learned or share with him what I was feeling when I left
DO NOT share any of this information with him, it is your secret weapon. I have gone down that route and it only has hurt me not helped.
As far as pursuing and distancing, I could say two things. The Solo Partner book describes many different relationship traits and who is the pursuerer and distancer in each trait. In general men are sexual pursurers and emotional distancers. Women are the opposite. DB/DR says DO WHAT WORKS! 180 what does not.
So I would suggest you read DR first. You seem to have agood handle on what is happening but it is way too soon to EXPECT anything to change.
And one of my mantra's is to have NO EXPECTATIONS.
