W told me she is done & doesn't love me anymore-P3

[Snowman]

Update-My W decide she wanted to call from London on my S's bday without telling me and ended up calling at 6am in the morning because she didn't get the time zone conversion down right. I told her to call back later very nicely as it was only 6am. She said she would call back in 1 hour and hung up. I knew 7am would be to early and not work either but she hung up and I went back to sleep. She called at 7am and I was getting in the shower and our S was still not up. I told her to call back later and she informs me she can't she will be on a tour. In my head I was getting mad as I don't give a d*m if she is on a tour, if you wanted to talk to your S on his Bday then don't plan your vacation during it that I pointed out to her 4 months ago and she didn't care. She said she would call back yet again.

I babysit my phone while I was getting my son and me ready for the day waiting for her call until 15 mins to 8am. No call but all the sudden my phone had voice-mails but my phone never rang. I started to listen to the voice-mails which was my W getting really mad and accusing me of screening her calls and telling me how ridiculous I was being and that she just wanted to talk to ous S on his Bday. I never screened her calls as the phone never rang and if I was screening her calls I wouldn't have answered the 2nd call. While I was listening to the voice-mails the phone showed she was calling so of course I answered. She started to accuse me of screening her calls which I informed her that I didn't and she knows how bad the cell reception is at our house. She seemed to get over it and gave my S the phone to talk. Needless to say I was rather mad that morning after these events.

My W told me when she left she wouldn't be calling since her phone doesn't work there but apparently she bought a go phone there and decides to call early in the morning from a foreign number. Personally she is lucky I answered at 6am in the morning from so weird number. Ok enough on that vent.

I have learned more about my W's deep insecurities from her longtime childhood friend. My W's insecurities are deep rooted and have affected every aspect of her life as I have ponder it. I can trace all the insecurity back to all the various problems with us, her friends, her job, her issue with my sisters, her own family, and many other issues. Don't get me wrong here I know I have my issues that I'm working on but I just didn't know how deep this insecurity problem was with her.

My W has been so insecure that she is constantly trying to fit in with ever person in her life to the point she is constantly changing her mind about what she wants or what she wants to do. She doesn't know who SHE is so she uses other peoples identities and tries to be like them. Her best friend that has known her since 7 said she has always been like this. Her friend also mentioned the hostile environment from her mom that was surprising to me as apparently her mom was always yelling at the kids and I will say my W was surprisingly a yeller as well which scared me especially when were talking about a baby that she was yelling at. Her friend was worried that my W would be hostile like her mom.

In short I really think my W has some major insecurity problems and her coping mechanism has been to run from her problems and shut down. My D papers are nearing its final stages but I'm still learning about my W as this all goes on.

How do you help a person who is so insecure they are not willing to help themselves and just continue to bounce from one friend group or OM to another looking for the next fleeting time of happiness? I wanted to share this as this is what I have learned as of recent.

I will be coaching my S's soccer team tomorrow and throwing his Bday party. Hope to actually hear from someone after this post .