Not sure where to start, Part 3

[wishing, hoping]

D's soccer game tonight. H has already left to go up north. Supposedly to see his mom. I am not sure if I should believe him or not. I guess it does not matter where he goes. If he sees OW it is out of my control. Now he will not be back until Sunday afternoon. It would have been nice for him to spend Mother's Day with us but I guess it is my day. I am guessing on Father's Day I will have to make myself scarce. Unless he takes them up by OW. I hope not! But I guess I have no say on that either.

He reminded me we have a court ordered parenting class on Wednesday and had I found a sitter. I said no I have been far too busy to even think about it.

He left and said goodbye to the kids and he actually gave me a hug too and said have a happy momma's day. That is the first time he has given me any affection since the bomb drop. Don't want to feed into it. It wasn't a light quick half hearted hug. It was an embrace.

I have been extremely emotional all day. That hug didn't help. I feel like eating a pint of rocky road and watching a sad chick flick and going through two boxes of kleenex. Lol!

And I do have to say I look damn good too. Hair, makeup and new clothes. The total package. ; )

Part of me feels like giving up. I just can't see the forest for the trees.