Brand New here, my story, my ?'s

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Re: Brand New here, my story, my ?'s Ichrus #2244580 05/11/12 08:30 PM
Joined: Apr 2006 Posts: 13,511 Likes: 1 CA- now East coast 2 25yearsmlc Member
25yearsmlc Member 2 Joined: Apr 2006 Posts: 13,511 Likes: 1 CA- now East coast	thing is by only focussing on YOUR issues (which only you control and plus you don't want to try and mind read on her anyhow) you force her to face HER role. You may disagree, but think about it. WHen you really truly fully OWN your stuff and work on it (which I think is what "own" means) then you've stolen her thunder. I mean - If her complaints were mostly valid (they sound that way) but you are addressing them.....then what does she have to say for herself now? it's like saying " I left h b/c he was an alcoholic but now he's sober...." well??? yes I know she does not "FEEL IN LOVE" at the moment...really? For me this is a question of TIME on her own if YOU play your cards right... BACK OFF BIG TIME... Learn to STFU and let her clear her head on her own with NO judgement from you. None... there's already trouble in paradise w/the OM so let that relationship expire on its' own... b/c frankly, she does not know that most r's lose the honeymoon luster and hopefully grow in other ways by- bonding over time and with each experience... into a mature deep love that does have magic moments but maybe different. Something else you may need to address was you apparent desire to see her flrit with other men. That sounds like more of a problem YOU have than wanting something for HER. Sorry but the idea of OMs wanting her is about YOU, not her. I'd have felt very undesired or used or hurt by that if my h had asked that of me or didn't seem bothered by it. Just my opinion. Our 2d graduating from college was romantic to me-- if you know what I mean...but not necessarily "erotic" but my point is, she does not know this yet. Most long term m's say the hardest time in the marriage was the first few years after the 2nd child was born. Those are the years with the most demands and it's when the h's need to make extra efforts, not less... The more you try to make her see the future or threaten her with her failure and regrets in the future, the fuzzier it'll be for her. A lot of this is your pride talking anyhow. Give her time and space and own your stuff. She'll have no ammo if you say "Yes that WAS a problem of mine, which I'm working on now...." (i.e., so it's not a problem anymore) make sense? M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 2016 X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016 = CLOSURE 4 ME Embrace the Change

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Subject	Posted By	Posted
Brand New here, my story, my ?'s	Ichrus	12/11/11 05:49 PM
Re: Brand New here, my story, my ?'s	Ichrus	12/12/11 02:33 AM
Re: Brand New here, my story, my ?'s	brenalim	12/12/11 08:09 PM
Re: Brand New here, my story, my ?'s	FA	12/12/11 09:09 PM
Re: Brand New here, my story, my ?'s	Ichrus	12/13/11 08:38 PM
Re: Brand New here, my story, my ?'s	Ichrus	01/18/12 07:58 PM
Re: Brand New here, my story, my ?'s	~ kd ~	01/23/12 04:33 AM
Re: Brand New here, my story, my ?'s	BeingMe	01/23/12 09:31 AM
Re: Brand New here, my story, my ?'s	~ kd ~	01/23/12 03:01 PM
Re: Brand New here, my story, my ?'s	25yearsmlc	02/22/12 07:29 PM
Re: Brand New here, my story, my ?'s	Ichrus	02/22/12 08:16 PM
Re: Brand New here, my story, my ?'s	Ichrus	03/08/12 07:51 PM
Re: Brand New here, my story, my ?'s	Ichrus	03/12/12 06:17 AM
Re: Brand New here, my story, my ?'s	Ichrus	03/12/12 04:35 PM
Re: Brand New here, my story, my ?'s	Crimson	03/12/12 05:41 PM
Re: Brand New here, my story, my ?'s	BeingMe	03/13/12 08:32 PM
Re: Brand New here, my story, my ?'s	Ichrus	03/19/12 08:59 PM
Re: Brand New here, my story, my ?'s	MrBond	03/19/12 09:08 PM
Re: Brand New here, my story, my ?'s	Ichrus	03/19/12 11:16 PM
Re: Brand New here, my story, my ?'s	MrBond	03/20/12 12:11 AM
Re: Brand New here, my story, my ?'s	BeingMe	03/20/12 07:38 AM
Re: Brand New here, my story, my ?'s	BeingMe	03/20/12 07:42 AM
Re: Brand New here, my story, my ?'s	breakdownbill	03/20/12 09:46 AM
Re: Brand New here, my story, my ?'s	Ichrus	03/20/12 06:51 PM
Re: Brand New here, my story, my ?'s	Ichrus	03/23/12 07:34 PM
Re: Brand New here, my story, my ?'s	Norfolkdumpling	03/23/12 09:40 PM
Re: Brand New here, my story, my ?'s	Ichrus	03/25/12 04:57 PM
Re: Brand New here, my story, my ?'s	Ichrus	03/27/12 11:32 PM
Re: Brand New here, my story, my ?'s	2thepoint	03/28/12 09:44 PM
Re: Brand New here, my story, my ?'s	Ichrus	05/10/12 11:18 PM
Re: Brand New here, my story, my ?'s	25yearsmlc	05/11/12 01:49 AM
Re: Brand New here, my story, my ?'s	25yearsmlc	05/11/12 04:07 AM
Re: Brand New here, my story, my ?'s	Ichrus	05/11/12 06:05 AM
Re: Brand New here, my story, my ?'s	25yearsmlc	05/11/12 08:30 PM
Re: Brand New here, my story, my ?'s	Ichrus	05/11/12 10:49 PM
Re: Brand New here, my story, my ?'s	Ichrus	05/24/12 06:35 PM
Re: Brand New here, my story, my ?'s	Rick1963	05/24/12 06:47 PM
Re: Brand New here, my story, my ?'s	Ichrus	05/28/12 05:59 AM
Re: Brand New here, my story, my ?'s	peringo	05/28/12 12:45 PM
Re: Brand New here, my story, my ?'s	BeingMe	05/28/12 07:21 PM
Re: Brand New here, my story, my ?'s	Ichrus	02/15/12 06:40 PM
Re: Brand New here, my story, my ?'s	BeingMe	02/15/12 09:31 PM
Re: Brand New here, my story, my ?'s	BeingMe	02/15/12 09:34 PM
Re: Brand New here, my story, my ?'s	Ichrus	02/16/12 04:35 PM
Re: Brand New here, my story, my ?'s	Ichrus	02/22/12 06:36 PM

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