My trigger that I notice is when she becomes miserable and withdrawn my anxiety spikes.
Because you're reacting rather than responding.
When we're in reactive mode, we're usually allowing our unconscious to drive our behaviour/thoughts/actions. Which can lead to a lot of trouble because it's not deliberate.
When we choose to respond rather than react, we take time to make a deliberate effort to slow down and think through how to proceed.
There's a quote by Wayne Dyer you might find helpful,
"How others treat you is their karma. How you react is yours."
Another thing to consider are boundaries. Just because another person is miserable does not have to have any effect on you or how you feel unless you allow it.
M:36 WAH:41 M:16 T:17 D:12 SS:21 Bomb: IDLY 10/29/11 Separated same day, about an hour after the bomb.
