WAW roomate is telling me she is moving out..

[AlwaysTrying]

Hangten, I just caught up on your sitch. Thanks for sharing. Your W is having second thoughts. That is great.

It also seems clear that she needs some space. She sees changes in you that she wants, but she is resentful that you didn't make these changes sooner. Time and space are needed to overcome the resentment, everyone seems to say.

Living in the same house isn't working, at least not the way you're doing it. Is it not ok to say, "W, you're wondering if we're making a mistake. Maybe we should try some counseling to explore that feeling a little. I understand that it is hard for you to be around me and I think that is something we should talk about. I think you need more space and I think a counselor can help us figure out how to do that."?

Do you understand what pushed you apart in the first place? This is what I picked up - you were unavailable and always working or on the computer. You had a temper and were not always great with the kids. Your wife resented that you weren't helping out around the house. You allowed your wife to disrespect you and treat you like a doormat.

Guys, is it allowed to say, "For the last year, I've been working to change the things that pushed us apart so that we could have a happy marriage going forward if we can get past the pain and resentment. I've made positive changes and I know you've noticed them, but I don't think I understand well enough the other issues that continue to bother you. I'd like it if we could talk to someone so that I can understand those issues better. I also think we may need to give ourselves more space to let the pain and resentment start to heal and I think talking to a counselor will help me to understand how to do that. Whether we remain married or not, these things will help our relationship with each other and with our kids and are worth talking about."

It sounds to me like you have a confused WAW, hangten, and not one that is firmly resolved. She says she wants that D, but the saying is don't believe what they say and less than half of what they do.

I think she wishes she didn't want to D you.