Hello, WAW. Is anyone there?

[AlwaysTrying]

I wish I could understand exactly what I did right when I talked to my W last night so I could do it again. Not right away. Maybe in a couple of weeks.

I started with let's talk about the divorce. I asked her what she thought she wanted to do with visitation schedules. I listened to what she had to say, and didn't react strongly to even the stuff that is really upsetting (Her taking the kids for the whole week and letting me have part of the weekend.)

I think she still wishes things would work out but she thinks that I am actually incapable of giving her the space she wants. She says, that would be a *prerequisite* for things getting better. First the space and then see if I can work on the other issues. She still thinks about the problems being things that I have to change and not the negative patterns of behavior between us.