The therapist thinks her lashing out at me and making snarky comments about my self improvement is owed to her feelings of extreme shame and guilt about what she's done. Still [censored], though... I wish that guilt and shame would translate into an apology and maybe a recommitment to our partnership.
I agree with that a hundred million percent. Wow I see *a bit* of myself in your wife. I acted out but not to that extreme.
If she indeed has some of these issues and she's willing to work on them then there's hope. If she starts to work through these issues she'll be looking back at her life and how she treated people while she was only focused on herself.
The entire do I move on or do I keep hope alive is something EVERYONE on this board deals with. Don't date if you're not ready. Not only is it not fair to you but it's not fair to whoever is meeting you thinking that you might be a potential BF.
Try not to think about timelines. I kept telling myself by April things will be great. My IC had said in 6 months people tend to heal. There's no timeline on that and if you just try to look forward to a specific date you might miss doing the work that's needed right now. I was very paranoid because I'm a planner. IE I need to get over this or get back together because I'm almost 35 and if I want more kids, etc etc etc. That's all control and I don't to control anything. Focus on being the best you, you can be, for yourself and for whatever lucky lady is by your side in say 10, 15 or 5 years from now.
