any chance your w would consider attending the marriage retreat called "Retrovaille"? It's a real miracle worker (which you do not have to tell her. Keep her expectations, and yours, low enough so there's no pressure.)
It can help you communicate better and more calmly even if she thinks she will still want a divorce. IMO just getting her there would help and cannot hurt. There are couples there
who have successfully nagivated problems far worse than an affair. We heard one couple who had lost a child and there was an affair with a child born out of wedlock.
THEY solved it and worked it and stayed m...there's a follow up program too, and that's essential as well. But the weekend itself is an eye opener.
you do not have to be Catholic to attend (my h is not) and no one pushed religion on us. I do think being an atheist would be a drag b/c they do discuss having a spiritual connection.
The Church started the program in Canada (the word means "re discover"), and of the 25 couples in our group 3 years ago, 22 are still together.
Not bad, considering the retreat weekend is for couples who have marriages in crisis.
Not bad at all.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
