What is going on here... and what do I do?

[LIO]

Re: the fear....

I visited a lawyer today. I felt very confident after I left because while I was there, I realized. It is ME who has a handle on reality.

I don't need to be afraid if I could survive on my own, I can.
I walked in with all my paperwork. Turns out that I can refuse him serving me, and unless he takes the steps to get me served officially, the case will be dismissed in 90 more days.

Yes, 90 days is a long time that he can still serve me, and if he chooses to pursue this, I'll deal with it then. I walked in and said "I know you are in the business of divorces, but I am not. I do want to know my legal rights." It was an amazing 1.25 hours of me verifying my research, and knowledge definitely is power. I left there with not only confirmation, but concrete goals. We talked about benchmarks of H's that he could obtain (lawyer had experience with ppl like my H and if they continue down this path what it will mean to me financially and emotionally), along with what I can do regarding moving forward. We also talked about how the weather here can really affect people mentally...

I left there confident, and like I could do anything. I would be okay. This is the fist time I've stopped letting my emotions and my H's emotions persuade me into action. I CAN do this. I had said before that I should have studied law... I might look into it. It seems exciting.

I actually got more out of that visit then I did the counselor!

So my plan is while S goes out of town, I do not answer phone calls. I do not pursue. Regardless if H leaves this week, I start to prepare house for sale. I do have some studying I want to do, and without S here, it will free up my time.

No running today, but I have two workouts planned for tomorrow.