A lot is said about the WAS and the "fog" or the fantasy they are in when a third party is involved. However, I wonder if the LBS doesn't have some fantasy of their own.

"A huge part of me thinks that I can get over this and really forgive because I know the man he can be when he's happy about life and I know the woman I can be when I'm loving every minute of life and looking positively towards my future."

It's important that you keep a healthy outlook in life. But, let me ask you something. Is the man your H "can" be....a fantasy? What about the woman you "can" be when you're loving every minute of life? Most people are seen as being pretty good when everything is going their way, wouldn't you agree? But life teaches us that it's not going to be that way 24/7. So, then what?

If your M succeeds, you will have to forgive your H when he's at his worst.....not when he's at his best. It's not the wonderful, easy, happy times that makes us stronger....it's the hard times that gives us the tough lessons, and everyone is given a test to see how well they learned. And as much as we love those great times, we would not appreciate them if not for the bad.

You don't have to like or accept the man he is right now. But at the same time, don't build castles in clouds that will be shattered when the storm passes through.

((hugs))

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!