My MC said "an affair is just two people telling each other how wonderful they are". That's unfortunately what WAS gets from OM/OW, and why it's so hard to re-establish connection or interest in the marriage while that's going on. OM/OW is all positive, and "real life" in your marriage is both positives and negatives, as well as a toll to be paid for what they have done.

Accuray

Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced
M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11
Start Reconcile: 8/15/11
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced)
In a New Relationship: 3/2015