So sorry to hear the unpredictable craziness continues. When my H and I first separated, I went away for a weekend with my 3 best friends (trip had been previously scheduled and I wasn't missing it). He took the opportunity to come into our home and take not just his things (fine for that), but things he didn't need or even really want. They were items he knew I loved and that I'd be hurt and angry. He also came in the house a time or 2 late at night when I was sleeping to get things and to snoop around.
I no longer felt safe, and I didn't appreciate my privacy and space being violated. It was time for a boundary. He had chosen to move out, so the coming and going on his terms was over. I wasn't going into his house (couldn't have paid me to), and he wasn't going to just barge into where I was living. When I called about having the locks changed, the locksmith told me a more economical and equally as good of alternative was to have the current locks re-keyed, so that's what I did. We live in a large home with several doors, and the entire job cost under $250. Talk about peace of mind; it was worth every penny paid! My parents offered to pay for it, but I charged it to my H instead.
Oh my, was he P!SSED when he found out! I was actually on vacation at the beach with my kids when he tried to come in again, and he tore into me by text about locking him out of HIS home that he pays for, etc. I assured him that my attorney had given me the go-ahead because I no longer felt safe NOR was he respecting our separation agreement. I told him if he wanted to take me to court about it to knock himself out. He simmered down and decided it was in his best interest not to.
This is all part of establishing and enforcing boundaries. It may not be best for everyone, but I had put up with the bs for 3 years and was done with it. If his not respecting my boundaries meant divorce, then his loss. Why would I want to be with someone like that anyway?
But as you know...the story didn't end in divorce. I can say with certainty that had I not enforced boundaries, no way would our reconciliation be as successful as it is. Sure, it could've ended in divorce as well, but I would be living on MY terms.
Just something to think about. Do what you need to do to protect yourself and your kids and to have peace.
