oh geeze sorry, she was diagnosed with bipolar not borderline...
And good yes, read through the sitchs and tank's sitch was his W took in with an OM and (I don't know if she already was) started in on highly addictive behaviours including drugs and probably alcohol... she'd keep coming back to tank when she needed something... money... a place to stay... whatever... poor guy and he was dealing with raising the kids while going through chemo...
Start with taking really, really good care of yourself first... you can't be "there" for anyone in an effective way, until you have saved yourself...
