Not sure where to start, Part 3

[timbits]

I can completely relate to how you feel, wh. I am also very assertive, competitive and stubborn. It's difficult, especially when it feels like at the moment I can't be who I am and I don't want to change who I am fundamentally, but I do need to work on my own issues at the same time. Unfortunately, my issues are a defensive mechanism from being abused as a child (no vulnerability or weakness so it won't happen again is how i dealt with it). It was a successful defense mechanism in that it helped me deal with a really traumatic experience in one piece (for the most part), but it makes me wonder if this really is who I am?

I find it's hard to bite my tongue at times, but I'm getting better at this. I just have to run everything past a filter with H, whether I want to or not. You are right, though, in that it will never get better while OW is still in the picture, but the more you fight it, the more she will appeal to him.