Here are some of the highlights: Cheryl thinks my H is reaching out. She told me to remember what it felt like to be his girlfriend and be that person. Act like his girlfriend and make him happy when he’s with me. Let him see the new Ro is going to stick around. She said he will probably get nervous about us getting close again.
Watch my tone and be kind. Words are cheap – actions speak louder than words. Say Thank You.
As far him moving out, she doesn’t think he wants to move out so she suggested I create a combined “honey do” list of things that need to be done at the house. So he’s invested. She is fully convinced he doesn’t want to leave and I need to make him not want to. She said to do anything where we are a team, and where we both make a decision.
She told me to make sure we sit in the same space. Basically to get off the loveseat and sit next to him.
She told me to do what it was that I did that worked before. That he’s already started the ball rolling, and I need to pick it up. She said if (basically when) he asks why I’m sitting next to him or touching him say because I LIKE HIM; don’t say I love him.
She said I should ask him for what I want, instead of pointing out he did something wrong (i.e., not taking out the trash). The fewer words the better. Be succinct, brief, and specific. Show gratitude.
Anticipate that things will be going really, really well, and then he’s go see OW. OW will start to feel alone and will pressure him, and he will pull away from me. She told me to remember this conversation, and just kiss him goodbye when he leaves. (This is going to be a hard one!) She said OW is like a mosquito in my ear, and you know what you do to mosquitoes. She said giving her the time of day is like inviting her to dinner at my house.
She said H will not believe the changes. She told me when he mentions it to say all I can do is take it one day at a time. Make no big promises. Explain that I will have bad days.
She also suggested I read the following books, which are talked about on the forum all the time:
-How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It -Five Love Languages -Love & Respect
