What is going on here... and what do I do?

[LIO]

One more thought.....
I was realizing that I live in fear... Of the future, of what's in my head, of what I imagine. I did mention to H that I have for years walked on eggshells around him when he gets moody, when he goes through his period like this, H didn't know that.

I didn't say that to get him to change.

I said it because I don't want to keep living in fear. I want to be excited about my future. That's why I need long term goals and to keep creating long term goals.

With H, I can count on ups and downs... His distractions are always my focus. That was my fault.
That is why I am working on not being reactive. I would love some resources, guidance on that.