That's why I opened my own checking account and savings account just in case H decides to bail on me. It hasn't happened yet, and he hasn't even mentioned it. I think it would have been nice on your H's part if he would have let you know he was planning on doing it rather than waiting for you to find out on your own. That's why I think it is more than detaching. If he just wanted to detach why couldn't he have discussed his plans with you before actually doing it?
A while ago I did open my own separate one as well. Even though I don't make much, I do make something and I feel now, more than ever, that I just want to keep it to myself.
And I agree with you on him not letting me know before he did it. This is where his communication issues arise. This is how he goes through life. I actually thought this very same thing and the old me would have gotten angry and said something about it. But then that's me using my anger to deal with the situation. It hasn't been helping my situation in the past and it has to be my 180 now. I can ask him over and over, why didn't you just tell me? And his response will always be, I don't know. That's just his mode of thinking.
Who knows if he's really working on it or not. I can't focus on him anymore. Life lessons.
Me: 32 H: 32 M 9 yrs #1 D7 #2 S5 #3 D2 Bomb 8/12/11 H moved out 8/14/11 PA started w/H & OW in 1/12 - found out 3/24/12 Got my own place 8/25/12 H & OW move in together 9/15/12 Still married.
