Thanks so much, Jon. With everything that is unfolding here lately, it's bittersweet counting down to the year milestone. All said, I'm doing it for myself and our son. My wife (as you will read in a moment) doesn't see it that way. If she can't appreciate it, then someone else can and will.
So, UPDATE time.
Our son and I were already asleep last night when the door bell rang sometime around 11, I think. I open the door and there was my wife standing there. She said that she had to talk to me about what's going on. She said she was going to catch hell from her dad and her lawyer once they know that she came to talk to me. She cried a little because she said all the things she has been doing, they had talked her into doing them, and she's just not that kind of person.
We came into the house and sat down to talk. The conversation was about 1.25 hours, so I'll give you the gist of it.
a. She doesn't want to go into an all-out fight in court, but if she did, was 99% certain that she'd win because of the proof she has that I'm addicted to child porn.
b. A couple of times we went down the road of talking about my addiction and that she believes that I'm still the same person.
c. She talked about the pros of our son being in SC - better school system, safer, Southern culture, how family-oriented her hospital and practice is, and so on. "Why wouldn't you want E to live there?"
d. We talked about my work. I told her about the opportunity to grow in the job I'm in, which is why for once, I'm not just going to up and leave. I'm 35, it's bloody time I settle down. She says that's always what I say about each job I've been in and based on the past, has that ever happened? No. So we go down another conversational dead end.
e. I made the point that I didn't file for custody at this time to jeopardize her move. It was triggered by the infamous email she sent recently. I said "Look carefully at what I'm asking for - it's shared...joint custody. I did this because I feel that I could't live with the status quo as it is, whether we move or not."
f. So she says that if it's 50:50, then let's do that. But we'll get it in writing that she can leave the state with E and we put a plan together for when he's in SC.
g. She said that even though I'm a douche, she knows that I'm a good dad, yet she doesn't want our son to grow up like me. She just wants E to have a father in his life. (What does that even mean?!?) She brought up the child porn issue again. She said that she knows I won't molest our son, but she doesn't want our son's friends around me. She brought up how back in Malaysia she saw me pat a little girl (my god-sister) on the butt (which my entire family did playfully too - it's not appropriate in this culture, but I grew up in such a world) and how that was a red flag for her. Then she brought up my sister, yadda yadda yadda. So in short, my wife said that she has gathered enough evidence that she's definitely going to win, and that all of that will go into public records, which would hurt me.
h. We closed on the note that we'll discuss more about the 50:50 later. She initially thought that we could do it during our conversation, but she then realized that I had to go to work in the morning.
I didn't get much sleep last night, so I know there are details I missed putting down above, but I'll add as I recall them. Once I get my head back together, I will be able to build my opinion and thoughts about this unfolding of events.
