Not sure where to start, Part 3

[wishing, hoping]

Oy Veh...years?? Yikes! Double yikes!! It has only been three months for me and I don't know how much longer I can keep going...lol! But today is not the day I quit. Maybe tomorrow, but not today. I will keep trudging up the mountain.

It just seems to be that H is rebelling against me. He has always been so responsible and so considerate. He has always tried to do the right thing. When I met him I could tell he had such a beautiful soul and that's why I fell in love with him. I believed in him and I could see the good in him. I think that is why it is so hard to accept that he is being an inconsiderate @$$ now. It is such a 180 for him. He has turned against his family, ignores his friends, divorcing his wife, avoiding his kids...he has turned into a teenager and treating me like his mother.

The only thing a mom can do to help a rebelling teenager is to give them boundaries and let them live and make mistakes and be there if and when their teenager needs them. I have stopped doing "mom-like" things for H as well. I won't do his laundry, I don't make him dinner, I don't buy groceries/sundries for him unless he specifically asks. I don't call him unless regards the kids. I don't ask him when he will be home and I don't ask him where he is going. The kids may, but I won't. I don't pick up after him either. And actually this has been quite liberating. I have relaxed so much not doing these things and it has actually taken a bit off my plate and if I don't let his moods or actions affect me, I can actually be in a better mood.

I still miss him though. The old him, that is. It is hard to think about doing things with the kids this summer without him. I have to start making my own traditions and let him make his.