I wonder why she continues to be so depressed with her tone toward me on the phone or in person. So strange to me. Quite monotone and without any emotion the majority of the time. Why not just be normal?
Hmmm...maybe, just maybe, she isn't so sure of her decision because of the effects on your son...from what I have read, women do NOT break up a family easily. Not to get your hopes up at all, but my W spoke of leaving a lot last fall/winter...not a peep since February, and things seem to be changing, and she is still here (still not sharing our bed, but still in house)...idk...ymmv.
T^2
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
Basically no contact or talk other than S. We are still sharing the same house. I listen with interest if she shares a tidbit about her day, and then go on about my life. I have not heard any more about moving out, but I don't think she has changed her mind at all.
I have been unconcerned and quite upbeat. I wonder why she continues to be so depressed with her tone toward me on the phone or in person. So strange to me. Quite monotone and without any emotion the majority of the time. Why not just be normal?
I have faced the fact that our M is over. Perhaps maybe, just maybe, there is the slightest chance for a new R between us in the future. I am no longer holding my breath.
I had the same behaviour from my W,, cold, distant and uncommunicative.....I stayed 'As if' and happy and she got confused but still wanted us to separate...her behaviour got worse until the Tension blew at another big R talk
She wasnt getting what she wanted...separation, SPACE, time to think, NO PRESSURE (all in her eyes of course)
After another bomb, I said I would move out and then she became, all nice, pleasant etc, even to the point of grooming me just days before I moved out (eyebrows!)
Me49 W45 T15 M13 S11 S8 BD 11/15/11 & 3/27/12 Moved out 4/9/12 Moved back 4/23/12 W working on US 5/20/12 Now Piecing! May-Oct14 drifting Dec 14 W agrees to more QT BD Oct15 ILYBINILWY W filed 1/25/16
W is going to her brother and SIL house this weekend for cancer walk in their town. W and S will be leaving Friday morning. She asked if I was going to come on Saturday. I have not answered yet.
They live near the beach. I expressed interest in going when the plans were made, so that I could have fun with S in the ocean.
I get along with her brother, SIL, and their kids just fine. But she has told her brother of her intentions to D.
I am hesitant to go. I would like to have a little fun in the sun with S. A fella needs to see the ocean every now and then to remind himself how large it is and taste the salt in the air.
I don't want for things to be awkward for the others though.
W asked if I was going in a text so its hard to tell what she would rather me do.
After thinking on it today I am leaning heavily on declining the trip. I have been doing well moving on with my life. I can fill the weekend doing me stuff.
I will make a plan to take S to the beach on my own. Probably the weekend she decides to move out. Whenever that will be.
I don't want to be here then, and I don't want him to be here either. So an overnite trip sounds like a great idea.
Perhaps I have fallen in to the resignation category. Not on purpose. I am feeling quite well. Eating, sleeping, laughing, and enjoying music again. The knot in my stomach is gone. I know now that I will be ok. I wish the pain I felt in the begining to no one.
I am here to learn. And I have. From all of you.
Honestly, I find myself waiting right now. Just waiting on her to move out. I think it will bring even more relief to my life after a little time. And it may give her the space she needs to find herself, and hopefully a thought of me in her future.
So to your point. I think?
It is time do more. Find more joy. Create excitement. Stop waiting.
"How does all this make you feel?"
If you mean the sitch. I can still get angry, sad, depressed...IF I allow myself.
If you mean your post. I appreciate it. You don't get to me. I did not follow your advice in the beginning (yes there is a little regret) but I still like to hear you thoughts.
I don't want to go about wounded for a couple years. I want to get my mojo back. I have no desire for another woman. I just want to keep feeling better and being better.
It is time to read DR again. Define and refine my course of action. Make new goals.
I will make a plan to take S to the beach on my own. Probably the weekend she decides to move out. Whenever that will be.
The weekend my W moved out I took my S to a waterpark about 45 minutes away (it's a long way to the ocean from Wisconsin) for three days. I don't regret it for a minute. Yeah it cost some money, but having the distraction for that weekend and having the memories is priceless.
That weekend isn't "the weekend mommy moved" in my S's mind. It's the weekend we went to Chula Vista. Or at least that seems to be the case. He's never talked about the weekend she moved out... only the weekend we spent together there and when we can go back.
Married 6 together 8 Me:38 W:31 second marriage for both SS12, SD10, S6 Bomb: 9/8/11 (day before our 5 yr ann) W moved out: 2/18/12 D final: 11/12/12 Share S 50/50. Spend as much time as I can with SS & SD
It's been a few days are you feeling more relieved? Are you taking care of yourself?
I think you made the right decision in not going to SIL's it's important for you to set your own boundries and not do things because you think she wants you to or because you think it's the right thing to do.
W is not around much anymore. She stays gone half the time. The other half of the time I remove myself from the household. I make effort to always present a happy, well groomed, and an attentive, but busy, person.
On a funny note. I shot a squirell with my bow and arrow yesterday.
S and I were target shooting a little in the back yard. He has a bow we got at a festival last year. 5/8" pvc and nylon string. It shoots quite well for what it is. Anyway after we get done we were walking around to the front with our stuff and there was a squirell on the front lawn. He said shoot him dad. So I gave it a go thinking I've got a 50/50 chance. Well I nailed it. Then the sucker unpried himself from the lawn, ran up the first tree, arrow and all. It kills over dead about halfway up. Falls a short piece and gets hung in the branches.
So we spent the next 30 minutes throwing a football into the branches trying to get the thing to fall so I could get my arrow back. No luck.
It was raining today. Maybe we will get it down tomorrow.
S is having a great time with it. I'm sure the neighbors are getting a kick out of it as well.
for three days. I don't regret it for a minute. Yeah it cost some money, but having the distraction for that weekend and having the memories is priceless.