Brit I havent replied in a while because I've been wrestling with the question of how can you win him back. Or rather had i found someone else how could W win me back. I've ran the scenario multiple times in my head, and can't come up with something good.
Then it dawned on me, W would have a hard time because I'd be a "hurt nice guy".
Let me tell you some of my story. I was desperate to keep W by my side. I was also fed the lie that of you absolutely do everything to please your W she'd stay by your side forever. I gave up 90% of my hobbies, went to great lengths to not make her jealous, and ALWAYS agreed with her. W had a way of passive agressively questioning everything I decided on, and once I did decide she'd get mad if I didn't agree, or get huffy and disappointed if I did. It really was damned if you do damned if you don't.
She thought she wanted a sweet, husband that would put her and her wishes above himself. The type of man that would ALWAYS be there.
The problem is that the type of man that can be this 24/7 is also insecure and weak. The type of man that is so desperate to keep his relationship that he will tolerate outrageous behavior and demands in order to keep her happy.
A wise woman once told me:
"I want a guy that can stand up to me, because I know he'll stand up for me"
I think you were expecting your husband to stand up to you, that's why you would constantly test him. When he failed again and again it made you lose attraction.
To make things worse you knew he loved you, and that he was loyal to you.
Did you ever feel like he was with you because he couldn't do better? Maybe you thought this at the subconcious level?
Could it be that your rediscovered love for your husband, is really you just wanting something you can no longer have?
Again not being spiteful just trying to put myself in your husbands shoes.
I realized that before gettin married I didn't have a hard time getting a girlfriend, I had a hard time keeping them. The problem was that while single I was strong, confident, self assured, once I got in a long term relationship I became needy, and weak. It was a cycle I kept repeating.
I mention this because your husband as you said is regaining his independence. (which you find very attractive). Unfortunately so does another woman.
So the question then is:
Can he maintain this new independence with another woman? Or
