Thank you all so much! I read your comments and started crying. It's so good to have someone say you're doing good and you're learning.
Underdog: I think I've heard of Eckhart Tolle I follow Zen Moments on twitter and I think they have tweeted some of his quotes. I'm an woo-woo type person so that's okay with me! I will check it out!
I wasn't happy. I had my son when I was quite young and when I met my H, my son was becoming more independent. Between raising my son, going to college, and working, I never found hobbies other than nights out with friends. I recognise now that needed to find me away from being a mom, but I never did that not when you have a baby 2 months after graduating from high school!
I know that I looked to my H to be this life I wanted. And I didn't do things on my own because I always wanted him with me. So then I gave up, did things on my own and we just further and further apart.
He gave up a lot of himself thinking if he agreed with everything the M would work. I knew he wasn't always being honest. Either because he would say one thing and his actions would show he really wasn't okay with it or just because I kinda knew. So I second guessed everything he said, overanalyzed what he might want, and hounded him again and again if what he'd said yes to was what he really wanted or not.
We have recognised a lot of these things. And I'm continuing to look at ways I/we went wrong
I read something that said no one's trying to hurt you, you're both just doing the best you can. It felt good for me to think of think of things that way. And once he said I hate feeling like I'm hurting you I was able to say and mean it I know you're not trying to hurt that neither one of us wants to hurt each other we're both just doing the best we can. So I have been practicing your mantra. it's a good one!
