NH - I don't even know why I do the "shoving it in his face" thing. The words just seem to pop out of my mouth before I can stop them. I REALLY need to work on thinking before speaking (something I don't do well, as this is another thing on my H's list of my faults).
Journaling & ramblings...
Most of the time, I feel like I'm in between DBing my M and ending my M. The DBing is definitely making me work more on myself. Which I REALLY needed to do.
But I really don't see it "working" on my M. Not so far anyway. And yes, I know it's not about it "working". And I'm only 5 months or so in, and it may take longer than that. But I'd sure like to see some progress. My H always says my expectations of other people are always right up there with the expectations I have for myself; often too high of an expectation. I know I need to work on not having any expectations. (How does one DO that?) Especially when you're getting hugs and kisses, and "I love yous" out of the blue? Now, don't get me wrong, I like it (love it really...LOL) but in the back of my mind I'm thinking is he doing this to butter me up so he can stay until he's healed from knee surgery? I probably need to work on stopping those thoughts, because those are the ones that have me opening my mouth and saying things I shouldn't say.
Update on surgery: It was postponed yesterday due to them thinking he has folliculitis (inflamed hair bump), and not wanting to risk infection to his knee. So off we went to Urget Care. He got antibiotics, and is on his way to see the dermatologist now. Hopefully we'll have a new date for the surgery by the end of the week.
