Just journaling...I find it's nice to go back and read everything...especially the support. It helps ground me. I need to start a journal of my own...I have a friend that started a bucket list about a year ago. She has been D for 5 years now and has found that this list helps her move on and GAL.

I'm really missing my W this morning...I miss her so much every day. Moving on from your best friend of over 21 years is almost an impossibility, but I am maintaining. I find it worse in the morning...I wake up and for a split second everything seems fine and I almost expect to be laying next to her. Then it all comes rushing back...and it takes me a few minutes to calm myself down. Deep breaths...telling myself that I am a good person and that this is not all my fault. Once I get to work I feel better but that pit in my gut never goes away. It really only goes away when I'm working out...so I work out as much as I can...3-4 times a week, sometimes more even it's just getting in to get on the treadmill. I'm starting to look dead sexy and I know my W has noticed...have dropped about 40 pounds since December. Take that baby! LOL

Me:44, W: 39
D:16, D:14, D:11(special needs)
M:17, T:21+
Bomb:3/18/12
W contacted mediator for D:3/27/12
Separate since bomb
Mediation, signed agreement 5/17/12
No talk of D since mediation