Rollercoaster...of love...Trying to get to the top

[nhmom]

your hsband did not look outside the marriage because of things you lacked but because of things he lacked...

he lacked the ability to tell you what he wanted
he lacked the ability to communicate with you fully

you are NOT a mind reader

you may not have been fully tuned in...
you maybe did not do things in ways that you were always proud of

you can own those things but not your husband's choices

Thanks for the reminder, Fig! The first thing we do is to blame ourselves. Then, we blame the WAS. But really, the truth lies somewhere in between.

The "shoving it in his face" thing...I'm guilty of that, too.