You haven't hijacked my thread! I appreciate you sharing here. I understand where you are coming from with anger at ow. When everything about ow, and her sitting with my husband on his lunch breaks came out, he tried to defend her at first and told me she wasn't doing anything wrong, that it was all him and the fantasy he had in his head about her. It wasn't until he went to counseling, that he came to realize on his own that ow was also in the wrong for knowing he was married and continuing to sit with him almost every day. I have had a lot of anger at ex ow off and on over the past year, because she doesn't have to take responsibility for her part in it. She gets to skip off and live in another country and go on with life, while I'm left to sift through the "wreckage".

I don't know where my initial thread is, I'm too lazy to go dig lol. But basically my H had an emotional affair with a 22 yo at his job. On her end, she believed they were just friends, but on his end he was building up a fantasy over her and wanted to pursue her. He almost walked out on me and our daughter. She ended up going off to live in another country during that time of his MLC.

There are a lot of times I feel anxiety well up inside of me when H goes off to work. No matter how good things are going between us, I still have old fears come up that he is going to start seeing someone else, or that I'll relive the nightmare again, or... that he will go back into MLC land. Some days are better for me than others. Despite how much he has told me that what he did was a mistake and how he regrets it, and does not want to ever leave me.... it's still very hard to not walk around in fear.

I'm battling those fears and trying to not let them overcome me. I have to keep telling myself that I'm going to be OK no matter what happens in the future. It's very hard though!

I am sorry you are having to deal with the ow, and that type of behavior from her. It does make it hard to let go of the past. I was reading something the other day about how not forgiving someone actually locks us up and keeps us in a prison of pain.

Yes, I'm coming up on the anniversary of bomb drop, July 3rd. With the weather getting warmer, and things feeling familiar, it stirs up old memories.

How does anyone get through that first anniversary of bomb drop?