Over the weekend I got really low and I mean REALLY low which led me to stirring the pot which is when I tested the waters a little on Saturday night where I told her I was feeling very very lonely and she started crying and apologised for making me feel that way, then I tried to get her to talk about her feelings and wouldn't take no for answer for over half an hour, this was due to frustration from just wanting to help her and get a better picture of what was going on and really upset her in the process. Sunday morning I didn't go round like usual for Sunday and she rang asking what was going on and I said I just needed time to think, I was close to giving up on the R and life. But a very long drive and some window shopping (I am a bloke honest!) helped me calm down and went round later in the day to find she was cooking my favourite sunday roast with all MY favourite trimmings! This was nice considering I didn't exactly behave the best the previous night.
That is nice. I hope you were able to thank her with genuine emotion and leave it at that
Originally Posted By: Denton
Another thing she said was that I annoyed her by going round everyday last week and texting her more often - this was a continuation of me going round everyday when she was ill to look after her/the kids and do housework, as it felt right like things were getting better between us. After thinking about it and kinda been confirmed by reading on here that it may just have been too much and she was effectively saying back off a little. The old analogy of the feral cat/squirrel comes to mind.
I don't know that analogy and I'm not sure I want to, but at least she was giving you direct feedback about behaviors that were bothering her. I don't think she was effectively saying to back off, she was DEFINITELY saying to back off! Time to back off a bit!
Originally Posted By: Denton
Today I didn't text her all day and at 6pm she rang me asking me about a random tax letter she found on the table, easily could of waited till tomorrow when I normally go round but I hung on till the end- must remember to finish the conversation myself!
Good for you - see, she reached out to you first! Don't beat yourself up about not finishing the conversation first. It seems like some of the rules are easier to remember and practice once you've messed them up! Maybe set yourself a few goals - 1 day without texting, 2 days without texting, etc. Then you'll feel better after seeing that you can do it.
