I really hate to say this, but he's not going to wake up any time soon.

I'm not surprised that he questioned you about his father speaking to you. MLCers do not like for use to speak to their family members (another controller). I think you handled the passing of the message very well. I am also not surprised that he's not going to call his father. My xh was the exact same way and to this day, doesn't call, write or visit w/his father's side of the family. In fact my xh hasn't been to a family funeral since 2004 when his mother passed away. There have been at least 4 family funeral since then. When the mlcer "freezes out" family and friends, it's pretty much a done deal for a long time. You did your best w/this one.

As for the phone call...yep, he wanted you to hear the conversation and he also wanted you to be very much aware that he's not going to tell you about it or invite you to go along...so, I wouldn't say one word to him about it. Eventually he will slip up and drop hints....listen, but don't take the bait and ask.

Any way you can make copies of the retirement information? You may need that information down the road. Also, do not put any of his memberships or anything else of his on your bank account! He is a big boy and if he's telling you to do this for your memberships, you can best believe he is not closing out credit cards...he is already beginning the stage of separating expenses...don't help him by taking on his "stuff".
Be sure to keep copies of the credit statements and in a couple of months, call them and see if he's closed them out. My gut is telling me he's not closing them out.

He is in the "entitlement" mode and I agree w/you...you are going to see a whole lot of crazy behavior in the next couple of months. Whatever you do, do not react to it...try to keep calm and a level head w/this man. You need to put on your business hat and stay one step ahead of him w/the financial data.

Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.