So I've really got back into this site again reading up more on MLC, been crying like a baby over some parts, which for someone who hasn't cried for over 10 years till the **** hit the fan 6 months ago is really freaky for me.
Over the weekend I got really low and I mean REALLY low which led me to stirring the pot which is when I tested the waters a little on Saturday night where I told her I was feeling very very lonely and she started crying and apologised for making me feel that way, then I tried to get her to talk about her feelings and wouldn't take no for answer for over half an hour, this was due to frustration from just wanting to help her and get a better picture of what was going on and really upset her in the process. Sunday morning I didn't go round like usual for Sunday and she rang asking what was going on and I said I just needed time to think, I was close to giving up on the R and life. But a very long drive and some window shopping (I am a bloke honest!) helped me calm down and went round later in the day to find she was cooking my favourite sunday roast with all MY favourite trimmings! This was nice considering I didn't exactly behave the best the previous night. I then spent most of the afternoon with the kids planting seeds in the garden. Another thing she said was that I annoyed her by going round everyday last week and texting her more often - this was a continuation of me going round everyday when she was ill to look after her/the kids and do housework, as it felt right like things were getting better between us. After thinking about it and kinda been confirmed by reading on here that it may just have been too much and she was effectively saying back off a little. The old analogy of the feral cat/squirrel comes to mind.
Monday I went round in the afternoon to babysit while she went out with her sister and a mutual friend but left soon after the were back. Today I didn't text her all day and at 6pm she rang me asking me about a random tax letter she found on the table, easily could of waited till tomorrow when I normally go round but I hung on till the end- must remember to finish the conversation myself!
Also shes been really confused lately eg. shes been looking at getting an xbox and kinect (2 weeks ago it was a new laptop) and she genuinely thought the 4gb version had more memory than the 250gb version and couldn't fathom it out and yes normally she would know the difference!
The trigger for this whole MLC I'm sure was her dad dying just over 3 years ago so I reckon she has been in it for almost 3 years and thinking back the last couple of years haven't been good and I think it really needed to come to a head and it feels like she is starting to come out of it slowly. My biggest fear at the moment is wether I can hang on long enough - I just need to detach more again, which I've done alright with today and really need to GAL again after her illness/operation.
(2 weeks ago it was a new laptop) and she genuinely thought the 4gb version had more memory than the 250gb version and couldn't fathom it out and yes normally she would know the difference!