Picking up where we left off . . . I'm OnMyWay

[OnMyWay]

Well, today was a new day, as will be tomorrow.

This is a shocking turn of events, so please take a seat before proceeding. I intend this to be my last post to this thread.


W & I talked and came to the understanding that we both need a new direction. This is just not working. It is possible staying in our M is the oppression that has been keeping both of us locked into a really bad place - more of an obligation than a choice - kind of like taxes. No matter how hard we've tried over the past couple of years, it all boiled down to the fact that this M wasn't working for us. After some deep soul searching, I finally got back to being myself and thought back to the unfortunate ultimatum that put us back together three months ago. While well intended and honorable by us both, it was the wrong choice.

We've mutually decided this morning to let it all go. We are moving quickly, have drawn up papers for an uncontested D in our state, and plan to file by the end of the week. This is a quick state, so it will probably be over before the end of this month.

I can honestly say, we both feel a tremendous pressure has been lifted. After the pain of the "act" of deciding and doing the paperwork, we spent the rest of the day together and truly enjoyed each other's company. It felt like the real "us" for once, which is kind of corny, but a heart-felt truth. I know we do love each other, but this just isn't the time or place for us to be a couple.

One nice thing is we are stepping out of this marriage the way we came into it: we are doing it together. It is very nice. I have a new-found respect for W just because of the way this is happening and I believe she can once again see the real me, a sign we are both beginning to remove our marriage blinders and protective armor. Emotions are still reeling, but as the fog clears, this makes more and more sense to us both. I feel our R can once again grow and, of course, we will both be around to love and support our D9 together, and that feels great.

I greatly appreciate all your efforts to help me focus and get though this. In the end, the simplest solution looks to be the best for us. Indeed, after mere hours of the change, I feel "myself" coming back online - glad to let that other guy die. I hold my head high, knowing W & I gave it our best shot to stay married. It didn't work out and that is not an all-bad thing. I know our relationship will improve from here, romantically or not - and that is worth something. She is, still, the best friend I've ever had.

There are no guarantees, but tomorrow is looking bright once again. As I close here, know that I am in a good place.

I'm OnMyWay and wishing everyone here a heartfelt farewell.