Yes, he wrote that too. I'm going to check that out next. I just guess I really didn't want to do more self work, ya know? But if I want to be successful in that dating pool, I really do need to do some stuff before jumping in. I just hope I have someone to resuscitate me if I go under. That's a scary thing.
Now, on to bed. Big thunderstorms here, our baseball game sucked, and D15 is chasing the cat. Some things in my house just don't change. We have D18's club team BBQ tomorrow evening, which is guaranteed to be emotional. These people have been in the trenches with me for 7 years and I don't know a life without them on a weekly basis... plus traveling together 3-4x per year. I really had no idea that I was going to be this emotional about it. But I am, so... that's what I have to deal with. I guess this year is all about endings and beginnings.
Sigh. No wonder I'm tired.
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
But if I want to be successful in that dating pool, I really do need to do some stuff before jumping in. I just hope I have someone to resuscitate me if I go under. That's a scary thing.
LOl! So true! My best friend and I have the buddy system going. We tell each other what we really need to hear (but usually ignore) about the guys we're dating, then help put each other back together afterwards.
Okay, I finally found you guys hiding over here in plain sight.
Originally Posted By: Underdog
I can't believe that it all makes me angry as hell again! And the worst part is I can't completely figure out why. Am I mad for her? Am I that unevolved that I can't accept this? Am I more pissed that I made most of the sacrifices?
Trust issues, dating... you can get a game plan to address each of those things. But how about figuring out what's under the anger? What are the associated thoughts? What are the feelings that precede those thoughts? And what needs of yours do they indicate are not being met?
I'd like to be done with the self work, too, but whenever I think I am it turns out I'm really wrong about that.
Enough of that. Back to the dating. Ellie's right - you could have a 35 year old if you wanted. You can have whatever you want. You're hot stuff, Bets! Yeah, even in sweats...
I like hiding in plain sight. But I'm also glad you found me...
Quote:
But how about figuring out what's under the anger? What are the associated thoughts? What are the feelings that precede those thoughts? And what needs of yours do they indicate are not being met?
Let me formulate my thoughts on these questions and get back to you. I know what I want to say, but there is another vein swirling in that I absolutely must pay attention to... and let's just say that dumb vein is in the "it's not fair" theme. I hate that.
Quote:
You can have whatever you want. You're hot stuff, Bets! Yeah, even in sweats...
LOL, well... thanks! Back atcha! But... I have to figure out what I want. Right? Oddly enough, that's not easy for me. I've not done so great in that department pretty much most of my life. So I'm kinda careful about the Law of Attraction and saying what I think I want. I'm really not so sure. And even worse? I don't know how to go about finding someone to experiment on...
Me
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Hmm....I like tall, but I kept being reminded that perhaps I needed to look outside of what I thought I needed. I've been on several online sites and just (as a fluke) went back on Plenty of Fish (it's free) after an eight month hiatus. There he was, but he's only 5'6". He's FABULOUS and treats me like I've never been treated in my entire life. So, I would encourage everyone to not be too set on what you think he might look like.
As far as trust issues, my advice would be to just let time pass and to cautiously dip your toe in and see what happens. If a person has integrity, I think it becomes obviously clear early on.
Lynn
Me 55 H 49 Married 21 years No kids bomb 5/09 filed 7/09 divorced and moving forward 5/10
I love those tall guys, but my ex was just 5'10", and I once had the worst crush on a 5'3" sailing instructor. The right guy can make an impression regardless of those external factors.
Glad you chimed in! I'm in the DTC area... my D18 has a volleyball teammate in Erie. Her mom is the mayor of a small town close by.
LOL, I have no preconceived notions of what any potential suitor might look like, nor any height requirements. I've been with guys a little shorter than I am (5'8" is the story I'm sticking to now) so I don't have any issues there. Just 'cause I like the Manimal, that's what started this height thing. My only requirement now is that I don't want a sexy senior... that's the deal breaker.
Quote:
If a person has integrity, I think it becomes obviously clear early on.
That's really great advice, and I thank you for that. Right now, I think I need to just put out a vibe that says, "Get to Know Me" rather than the one I've worn for 7 years that said "Go Away". I might have to check out Plenty of Fish as well, so thanks for that recommendation!
Isn't our state the best for golf???
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Yep, no senior citizens!! I had a couple of 60+ guys contact me and I run around like a crazy idiot (I teach middle school), so I know these guys would wimp out quickly around me.
Good for you for not having any preconceived notions. I had to finally realize that was MY issue and I'm not sure why, but I'm hopefully moving away from it.
POF has been good for me (this time around). I didn't have the right vibe either last time. Best of luck...I mean, it can't really hurt to try??
YES! I love our state for golf. The NCAA girls' tournament is up here this weekend in Erie; if no rain I'm hoping to go take a peek.
Lynn
Me 55 H 49 Married 21 years No kids bomb 5/09 filed 7/09 divorced and moving forward 5/10
Since I just dropped my youngest off at her middle school, I had to laugh. I swear that those teachers and members of the staff have more energy than the energizer bunny. The visualization of someone trying to keep up with you is hilarious...
Quote:
Good for you for not having any preconceived notions. I had to finally realize that was MY issue and I'm not sure why, but I'm hopefully moving away from it.
I don't know if this is generally true for others, but I find that what used to matter to me earlier in life just really doesn't matter to me anymore. I'd definitely like this unknown guy to be able to take care of himself, have a good relationship with himself so that he doesn't look to me to solve his loneliness issues and just in general enhances my life for being in it. And with a special needs child, it goes without saying that she and I are a packaged deal... Oh yeah, and he has to be breathing....
I will keep my fingers crossed for good weather for you this weekend, though I will say that it just keeps getting colder and gloomier. Not sure what's going to happen. I love high school and college sports myself. One of D18's classmates is one of the 5A favorites in HS golf this year. I am particularly fond of girls' sports.
Who's competing in the NCAA tournament? D1/D2 or D3?
I've got to get D15 signed up for some hippotherapy now that graduation is almost here. I want her to have an enjoyable summer, though the transitions will definitely be challenging.
I'm going to check out POF in a few now. Will let you know if anything happens...
Stay warm!
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Betsey
