If you believe that, then you won't care about the whole "commitment-vs.-compliance" thing at the early stage -- you will want to try to end the affair and convince the wayward spouse to return to the marriage and work with you on it, together, understanding that the DESIRE may take a looong time to return
Starsky - couldn't this come across as pursuing big time? that's what i tried to do in the first couple of months - it didn't work, just made him more determined, it seemed.
I'm sorry, I'm not understanding. How is trying to bust up an affair even remotely considered "pursuing?"
