Thank you so much Walking and Brookie. It all makes sense. In my head, I buy into all of it. It's just taking forever for my heart to catch up. I hate being so needy. What in the world is missing in me that keeps me feeling this way? I have two great kids, great friends, a beautiful home, a great job. I'm healthy, active, etc., but I am really missing love, affection and companionship. I am really missing my H, especially at the end of the day.Tomorrow is my wedding anniversary. What a painful thought. Somehow I doubt my H will reflect on the date at all. I can understand why people get in rebound relationships. As much as I crave attention, I think getting it from someone else would only make me miss my H more. No matter what, I am not calling, emailing or texting him unless it is absolutely necessary. While I do love and miss him, I'm also really disgusted by his actions. I've lost respect for him for running away and, especially, for being so cowardly that he had to blame me. I've started reading a book on boundries and I think it will help a great deal with detaching and not allowing his behavior toward me to continue. I will not give him anymore opportunities to spew at me, call me names or blame me. If we must communicate and he starts something that I don't like I will end the conversation. I'm at the point where I really can do this. The challenge will be remaining calm. I don't want to react emotionally. It will give him more ammunition. I need to learn how to stand my ground without escalating matters.
