Optimistic...not hopeless! :)

[Accuray]

If he's still involved with OW, either physically and emotionally, then your reconciliation journey isn't even at the starting line yet. She has to be gone, then he has to mourn the loss, and THEN he will start thinking of you again. Until that happens, all you can do is take care of yourself and not make the situation worse -- and that's exactly what you're doing by staying dark, both taking care of you by learning to detach, and not making the situation worse by pursuing him when he wants space.

You're doing exactly the right thing, as counter-intuitive as it may feel.

Accuray