no. i didnt call my sponsor. the urge for me to drink is not very strong. i think about it sometimes. then i just do something else. i know this hurt wont kill me. this crap with the W has been going on for 5 months now. i know thats not very long. it seems like a lifetime though. things have not gotten even remotely better. only worse.
my W doesnt drink at home. she goes out sometimes and comes home at bar close. kids are already sleeping then. i am tryin to be a good example to my kids. i want them to learn strength. thats why this is difficult. i dont want my son to think its ok to be treated horribly by women. i dont want my D to think its ok to treat men like garbage. they are wonderful children who deserve the best.
it was hard to set the boundries i did. i fear they came across as ultimatums. i meant what i said, and i will stick by it. i do not want a divorce, but there are limits to the amount of stuff i will put up with. i will always love my W. but i do not need to be with her and be walked all over to love her. if she thinks there is someone better out there, go find him. there might be. maybe not though.
Whoa!!!! A little victim thinking here, don't ya think?
i dont want my son to think its ok to be treated horribly by women. i dont want my D to think its ok to treat men like garbage. they are wonderful children who deserve the best.
Yes, they deserve the best and that's to learn that it's not OK to treat ANYONE like garbage. This is not a male/female problem so much as lack of respect for another individual.
Hurting people hurt other people.
You might want to read BklynMom's thread.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
i read BM's thread. alot to ponder. i feel for her. W came back from her weekend. she has been talking to OM over the weekend. maybe they were together. who knows. i dont care. i told her i was done. she backpedaled and made excuses. i think i got this detachment thing down. i dont care anymore. if this is what she wants, fine. she can deal with it. i want to stick by my boundries. if i waffle, then what? i want to stay together, but not like this. i dont want to be a doormat anymore. what do i do. file or talk? im leaning towards filing at the moment
after i told her i'm done doing this, she can date this OM, i don't care, i'm not living like this. she wanted to talk. wanted to tell me its not what i think. i told her to prove it. she refused. i said im done dealing with this crap. she kept wanting to talk, or yell. i would walk away. then she would follow me. finally i just shut down. she started changing bank account passwords. so i took her check card to the account that is supposed to be mine. she got pissed and started grabbing at me. i dropped the card and walked away. she asked for the list of things she does to make me unhappy. i had written it just like bug told me too. she read it and got really mad. she does none of that i guess. she wrote me a list then. very degrading, but i expected that. she started yelling at me for stuff she does saying i do it. i dont. i told her that. then she started telling me i keep pushing her farther away, and i will be lucky to ever get her back. i agreed. she started typing up our separation agreement.
long story short, i broke all the 37 rules pretty much
for some reason i cant wait for the separation. i want to us to work, but i am starting to doubt that it can. divorcecare was about forgiveness tonight. i have alot of work to do on that.
what does going dark mean? what is the benefit? her LL is words of affirmation. she tied on quality time and acts of service. 2 points behind words of aff. i am bilingual it said. words and physical touch
