Golf mom - I've recently come to understand, there are some men who are just emotionally unavailable. They are not able to connect emotionally with another person. Something happened to them. Their development was stunted in some way, perhaps their parents were emotionally unavailable/narcissistic ... who knows ... but for some reason, they don't even know that the type of connection we take for granted in relationships is even available to them.
When they are attracted to you, they feel the feelings and they say the words that go with them, and they make you feel like the most desirable woman in the world. But they constantly ebb and flow with their feelings ... and they forget to let you know when they change. They will say anything - and they have no filter through which they consider how their behaviour will affect you. It's all about them.
You are feeling like you do because you feel rejected. Rejection is a horrible feeling - and it's particularly difficult for those of us who already have some abandonment issues.
The irony as you've identified, is that deep down we know we are higher value than them and they are bloody lucky to have us, for some reason we think we don't deserve someone of high value ... but I digress. They don't seem to value all our qualities, all the amazing thigns we bring to the relationship. When they leave ... we are like .... "What? YOU left ME?????"
Why don't you take your power back and turn it around. Why don't you make the decision to do the rejecting. You've already articulated all the reasons why you should have rejected him. He treated you very badly. You deserved better than that. Write down a list of all the ways he has hurt you and the ways he's disrespected you (and with this type of bloke, I can guarantee there are going to be a few of those things that you've tolerated).
As you get real, and get out of the fog, about what was going on in you're relationship it will allow you to detach sufficiently to really DB. To focus in on yourself, to fill your life up with things you love to do, to become the woman you are destined to be.
He'll notice .... and when he comes sniffing around, you'll get to decide if he's good enough for you or if he's even capable of being good enough for you.
V
Never make someone a priority, who makes you an option.
