I guess we have "Irreconcilable Differences"

[NYCPeter]

I have developed a weekly habit of checking the local court records online to see if my W's L has filed for divorce. Today I saw that she had.

She said she would so it shouldn't be a surprise, it would have been nice if we could have settled everything beforehand but we're so far apart on alimony (I offered an amount for 4 years, she wants double the amount for 6 years). My L said she could get what she's asking for it all depends on the judge.

Not sure whether I should appeal to her sense of fairness (she has pre-marital assets, parents with money and local family to help). My family has no money, any assets I had are pretty much co-mingled and no local family to assist with the girls.

Not even sure I should mention it until I receive the summons - I do hope she has the decency not to have me served at work, I mean there are nicer ways of handling this.

I know her L is looking out for her best interests, but it's disappointing that it likely will impact our future relationship if this gets into a battle over alimony.

I'm down - but I'll recover.....

Peace everyone....

[2thepoint]

Crap Peter! Sorry this is unfolding for you the way it is. My best advice is to work with your L on strategies for how to best address the alimony. If you get shared custody, perhaps that would have some influence? Also, wouldn't your W's A's have some bearing on matters as it relates to alimony? If not, that is too bad because it sure seems like it should!

Is there any way you can go to the process servers office and intercept the summons? May be worth looking into. I know I wouldn't want a process server showing up at my work either!

How are the kids doing?

Hang in there!

[sayitaintso]

Sorry you are a bit down Peter. Even if you were expecting it, acutally seeing that she filed must of been extremely tough.

I know you will do whatever you feel is best for yourself and your daughters.

Best of Luck to you. We're here with you!!

[NYCPeter]

Hi folks....

W and I talked on Fri and agreed spousal support, it's higher than I wanted to pay but I can live with it. She says she'll go to her L and have the matrimonial agreement with me this week, so that's pretty much settled. She didn't tell me she filed - I didn't tell her I knew she had.

As soon as it's signed I'll start plans to move out - my W's affair is ongoing, I have not let on that I know (she claimed it ended a couple of months back) - I have had enough pride that I'm not going to be at home, looking after the girls while she is out and about. To me it's a total lack of respect and I don't deserve that.

Had a good weekend with the girls, took them horseback riding and we all picked horses out for the Kentucky derby and watched the race. We have movie night on Saturday's where D7 and I take turns picking a movie, make popcorn - this week was "the spy next door".

Managed to do some GAL today - played a round of golf with a buddy I hadn't seen for months. I filled him in on the situation - he's offered me a place to stay if needed, but it's really too far away from the girls. I need somewhere closer..

Peace everyone...

[Accuray]

Hi Peter

Check out Airbnb, they handle renting rooms in people's houses or renting someone's house while they are away, it can be a really nice temporary solution. My friend got a job in Hartford and lives out of state so he is renting a room for $30 per night with a young family via Airbnb

Accuray

[BklynMom]

You sound like a new man!

[NYCPeter]

Thanks Bklyn - I'm hoping that was a compliment.

Accuray - thanks for the recommendation, will look into it.

[BklynMom]

It was a compliment. You have your own life. Golfing, horseback riding. Kind of sexy:)

[NYCPeter]

I wouldn't call what I do horseback riding.
My seven year old is a better rider than me - I sit there and let the horse lead me

Though now I know it's sexy - I may start taking it seriously...

[Accuray]

Another nice thing about AirBnb is if you room with a family you're not feeling quite so alone and coming home to an empty place. Something to think about