If your W really is MLC, don't doubt that DBing is helping. It is likely it just isn't showing results yet, because until your W starts coming out the other side, she will be unable to process and integrate (accept and appreciate) your improvements. My understanding is, if a S is MLC, they remember the positive actions and language in which we conduct ourselves.
If they end up being someone we want to R with, then so be it. If not, then so be it. If they can handle the damage and believe we are truly there for them even with all that has happened and they can forgive themselves, then they might find their way back and ask to R.
If your W is MLC, then all you have is time... how you spend it and how you interact with your W is up to you... the better you handle yourself and the sitch, perhaps the more likely there will be a positive outcome...
