As much as I don't want to I will need to respond to my H's email about the refinancing. I'm in no rush, in fact, I'm going to wait until he follows up with me, unless I get advice here to respond now. I really want to formulate a response in advance so that I don't backslide. I'm still very much in the process of digesting all that I've read, so my response, for me, will show the woman I want to become even if I'm not there yet. I would really like suggestions. I want to come across like a confident woman who trusts her boundries. I want to be appreciative (DBing) of his efforts to better our financial situation, but I also have questions about whether this is in my best interest long-term or if this is a self-serving act. Also, since he has accused me of being controlling I want to ask enough questions that I can trust the situation, but after that I want to turn it over to him, giving him total control and giving him an opportunity to feel good about himself (and maybe me). I know this sounds really convoluted, but I really want to handle this in a DBing way without further sacrificing myself. I want to be consistent with changes that I have made so that he starts to trust those changes, but more importantly, I start to trust myself.
