I know, particularly because I am now on post 27 and still in moderation, I'm using this forum to vent and express my frustrations, confusion, doubts that I don't feel comfortable sharing elsewhere.
What may not be coming across, however, is that alongside any comments I make about wanting to save my marriage (or not), I am committed to 'saving' myself. I've been doing a lot of self-analysis, 'Getting A Life' (I haven't been out this much since university), engaging in hobbies, exercising, going to counselling (although not finding it hugely helpful), taking more care of my appearance, trying self-hypnosis, and am trying to work out what (apart from my H) I actually want in life.
I've been doing this quite hard core since January. H has, in the past commented he was 'glad' I'm going out more and can see that I'm making changes, being proactive, doing things and that the changes I've made are 'commendable'. He simply, however, doesn't really care.
I know the purpose of GAL is to focus on and help myself, it's just so painful that he seems to have moved on so effortlessly and achieved a sense of peace, whereas I'm still waking up overcome with grief and panic each morning...
