I have never been particularly spiritual or religious. Since this crisis started I (like many others) have been trying to develop my relationship with God.
For the last several months I have been asking God to guide me. I have been focussing on how I should restore my marriage and reconcile with my husband, not just because I am completely heart-broken without him, but also because I thought it would be God's will. Increasingly, however, I have questioned if I have been in denial and have not been hearing God's voice. I am now wondering if that, perhaps instead God wants to lead me towards sacrifice and letting my husband go. As much as the pain is beyond anything I thought I could ever feel, and I have been unable to get any sense of peace, perhaps God wants me to love my husband selflessly, even if that means freeing him to pursue his happiness without me (e.g. if you love something set it free).
