I had a rough night last night. Couldn't sleep woke up multiple times. I don't snoop on him. I did in the past (enough to know I'm MUCH prettier than OW but he told me that before I'd seen a picture of her) and it just made me a bit paranoid and crazy. However he had liked a status on a mutual friend's FB page that made me think possibly he and OW had gone to an event that day. Anyway, I woke up several times in the night, unable to sleep.
I'd had a glass of wine that went straight to my head and debated sending him all sorts of texts from angry to sexy.
This morning I almost sent him a picture of me in satin pj's he bought me years ago but I hadn't been able to fit in. I've lost almost 40 pounds. Just to say look at me...
The upside is I did NOTHING. I remembered the rules to live by or whatever they're called. No matter what you feel, how much you're hurting etc, don't let them see that. So I didn't text, I did nothing.
I am also trying to make concious effort to not make joint decisions without asking his opinion or give him the responsibility.
I'm not gonna lie I haven't heard from him since Wed night and I miss him. We were in much more contact the week before but I think I was the initiator. I think LRT/going dark or whatever is needed. But of course I do worry that then he'll just drift and never come back.
I have read and reread greenblue's advice. It's hard to know ways I can make him feel loved, approved, desired, and that I find his independence sexy without pursuing or chasing?
